The English: What they say vs. what they mean

When working with English people it is important to understand just how indirect they are and therefore it is very important to understand the difference between what they say and what they actually mean. This can be very difficult for non-native speakers, and even people from other English speaking countries such as America.

 As you will see below, as a rule of thumb, I would always assume that the English mean the opposite of what they are actually saying. If they say they´re fine they´re not fine, if they invite you for a cup of tea, they´re not actually inviting you they´re just being polite (unless they start actually organizing a day and a time) etc.

1.     “I hear what you say”

What you think it means: They are listening and accepting your point of view.

What it really means: “I don´t agree with what you are saying and would rather not talk about this anymore.”

2.     “With the greatest respect…”

What you think it means: They respect my point of view

What it really means: “I think you´re an idiot.”

3.     “That´s not bad”

What you think it means: It is bad. They´re English, they´re just being polite.

What it really means: “It’s probably the best thing I have ever encountered!”

4.     “That´s a very brave proposal”

What you think it means: They think my proposal is great and original.

What it really means: “I don´t think your proposal will work. It´s rubbish.”

5.     “Quite good”

What you think it means: It´s quite good

What it really means: “I don´t like it.”

6.     “I would suggest…”

What you think it means: I have the option to take their advice or not.

What it really means: “If you don´t take my advice I´ll be very offended. Take it.”

7.     “I´ll bear it in mind”

What you think it means: They are probably going to do it.

What it really means: “I have already forgotten about it.”

8.     “Very interesting…”

What you think it means: They are impressed.

What it really means: “I think that this is a load of rubbish.”

9.     “I´m sure it´s my fault”

What you think it means: They think that it is their fault.

What it really means: “I know that it is not my fault. It is 100% your fault. You should admit the blame. If you don´t I will be annoyed.”

10.     “Oh incidentally/by the way”

What you think it means: This is just random extra information that I don´t need to pay much attention to.

What it really means: “Now I will tell you the real reason why I wanted to talk to you in the first place. This is the most important part of anything I have said.”

11.     “I was a bit disappointed that…”

What you think it means: They weren´t really bothered. It´s okay.

What it really means: “I was really upset by it.”

12.     “I only have a few minor comments”

What you think it means: They only have a few minor things to change e.g. tipos.

What it really means: “I think this is awful. Please change everything about it.”

13.     “I almost agree”

What you think it means: They almost agree.

What it really means: “I do not agree at all.”

Written by: Olivia Taylor-Firth